Which name should you use?

Published about 2 months ago • 1 min read

So your transgender, non-binary, or gender-diverse kid has a new name. Hooray!

But how should you refer to them before they transitioned (or started using a new name and pronouns)?

The general practice is to use the new name all the time, for everything.

For example, you might remember a family gathering before your child transitioned. You'd say, "Oh, remember when [new name] burped the whole alphabet? [New pronoun] had us all crying with laughter."

It might feel unfamiliar and a little awkward to use a new name for something that happened in the past, when your child used their old name.

But generally, transgender people who have changed their name only want to hear the new one. And the new name is who they are, so that's the best way to refer to them.

It'll take some practice, but you can do it.

And if you need some help, I'm here for you. Just reply to this email, or click the button below to schedule a quick chat.

Schedule a call ❤️

Mandy Giles (she/her)
Founder and CEO
Parents of Trans Youth

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