A couple of weeks ago, I posted something on social media about grief, saying that it’s a real feeling for parents of trans kids, but it was actually about the loss of expectations for your child. And that you can’t get stuck in that feeling - instead, move on to joy and hope.

Another parent I know and respect from the advocacy space (Lizette Trujillo - she's a badass) contacted me privately about this post and let me know how the grief narrative for parents is harmful to our trans children.

Talking about our feelings as grief can reinforce transphobia, bias, and discrimination. For many parents, navigating the world with a transgender child can be our first experience with discrimination - not only personal biases but also state and federal laws, policies, and directives targeting you, your children, and the people who care for them. I’m talkin’ to you, white folks! (myself included)

Lizette wrote a Substack article about my post, and she makes some really excellent points. She’s written about this subject before, and I neglected to keep it in mind when I posted about grief. It's a complicated subject, and I'll be doing some deep thinking on it.

I encourage you to read her post (and subscribe to her Substack!).

I’d really like to know what you think.

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