Finding friends

Published about 1 hour ago • 1 min read

At last weekend's Houston support group, a few parents shared the worry about their trans kiddo not having very many friends.

This is a really common worry, and there are lots of reasons that a trans teen or preteen isn't very social:

Maybe they're introverted
Maybe they're socially anxious
Maybe they're worried about rejection
Maybe they're experiencing depression
Maybe they don't like your suggestions (!)
Maybe they're getting what they need from an online community

Some of these reasons might need to be addressed with a mental health professional, some might just be their personality, and some are just part of being a teenager.

We also talked about different ways our trans kiddos could make friends or feel like they belong.

I recently came across an Instagram post from It Gets Better with many of the same suggestions we offered; the post is geared toward college students but can mostly apply to any age student.

Below are some of their ideas for places that trans and queer young people can find friends and community:

Student-led LGBTQ+ groups
LGBTQ+ centers and designated queer spaces (mostly on college campuses)
"Queer-coded" clubs, e.g. theater, gaming, arts
Teacher/professors and departments that "get it"
Campus events that aren't specifically labeled LGBTQ+, e.g. student performances, open mics, cultural celebrations
Local nonprofits and community organizations
Local "third places" in town: coffee shops, record stores, arts venues, queer gift shops
Group chats and social platforms

Your kid will find their people. It might take awhile, but it'll happen. They'll be OK.

Mandy Giles
Founder and CEO
Parents of Trans Youth

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