BOOM!

You might feel like you set off a nuclear explosion when you ask your trans kid questions about their identity (especially teenagers).

You're saying one thing, but they might hear something else.

Like all parents, we just want our kids to be safe and happy. AND if you don’t understand what it means to be transgender - hey, not many of us do at the beginning - you might not see how being transgender fits with being safe and happy.

So you might have questions like:

Are you sure?

How do you know?

Is it because you’re friends with that person?

Are you sure you want to wear that to school?

These are questions that lots of parents have, and they're valid, because you’re just trying to keep your kid safe and happy.

But when you ask your KID those questions, they hear:

I don’t believe you.

This is just a phase.

Being transgender isn’t real, so WHO YOU ARE isn’t real.

I love you, but not ALL of you.

Ouch.

And you probably didn’t mean any of that. But that’s what they hear, and the impact (if not the intention) can be really harmful.

That’s why it’s important to do your questioning, processing, and even doubting AWAY from your kid, with a therapist, support group, other parents of trans kids, or all of the above.

Better questions might be:

How can I support you?

Tell me about your experience.

Tell me what that word means to you.

What makes you feel like you?

And they might not have the answers to these questions, because they might still be figuring themselves out! But these kind of questions let your child know that you affirm their identity, and that you want to support them.

Last call for PTYC in August!

Today's the last day in the August application window for the Parents of Trans Youth Community.

We've got 54 members from 20 states (as of Thursday evening!), and members are creating real connections with other parents - even in an online space.

If you're curious, click the button below for more deets.

Mandy Giles​
Founder, Parents of Trans Youth​

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